Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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