it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
