There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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