We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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