You work out of a Hotel?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
