Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
