i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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