I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
