Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize