i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
