I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
