All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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