I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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