So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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