I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize