dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
