I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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