Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
