weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You pole danced in your parka.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
