Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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