I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
