I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
