Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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