Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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