Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
