Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
