Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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