My underwear smells like fireworks.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
