ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
