thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
