you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
