Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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