Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
