im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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