Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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