I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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