Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize