i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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