it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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