you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
