i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
