ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
