burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
