You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
