I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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