You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
