sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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