I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
