ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
