You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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