I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
