I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
