I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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