I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
