ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
