we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
