What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize