So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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