he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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