i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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