Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
