I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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