it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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