With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
