i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
